Forum Discussions - Throw Out Fifty Things

The Huffington Post Mentioned Gail Blanke in the Article "Every Day Is the Most Important Day"

2013-10-17T14:33:42.118Z

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peter-a-georgescu/every-day-is-the-most-imp_b_4106953.html

Gail Blanke On Women's Radio

2013-07-17T15:31:51.023Z

http://www.womensradio.com/2013/07/v-for-vitality-49/

The Huffington Post Mentioned Gail Blanke in the Article "Want to Lose Your Stress? Toss Some Stuff"

2013-04-17T14:49:21.999Z

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mequilibrium/stress-clutter_b_3061237.html

Gail Blanke Discusses "How to Unclutter Your Mind" on Sirius XM Doctor Radio

2013-04-08T17:23:37.310Z

Catch Gail Blanke on Sirius XM Radio Tuesday 4/9 at 6:30am. She will be discussing with Dr. Frank Adams "How to Unclutter Your Mind" http://www.siriusxm.com/doctorradio

Monday Morning Motivator-HERE COMES TROUBLE...

2013-01-22T17:02:57.611Z

HERE COMES TROUBLE...

That's what they used to say about me when I was a very little girl and walked into just about any room of adults. I'm not sure why, maybe like most little kids, I had a point of view, was a bit obstreperous (I threw myself down in the middle of a room once and kicked my feet because I'd seen some child star do it in a movie - and just wanted to try it out...) and had a habit of interrupting the conversation with my own irrelevant opinions.

But now, "interrupting" or better, "disrupting" is becoming a game-changing management (and even life) tool. Being the "trouble maker" in an organization, the one who turns the whole proposition upside down, who asks that meddlesome question, "Hey, what do you think would happen if we____?" is not only not being ostracized but is being sought after. "Disruptive Thinking" or "Disruptive Innovation" which one rightly identifies with companies like Apple, Groupon or Foursquare, among others, is also being adopted by more staid companies (and individuals) who are smart enough to know that you can't grow by just making new things that compete with your old things. As Luke Williams who wrote a book called, Disrupt, says, "...when a business makes only incremental changes, they find themselves on a path that gets narrower and narrower. Eventually, they reach the end of the path, and by then, their customers have forsaken them for a new offering that nobody saw coming..."

"Trying it out," (and maybe kicking your feet in the process) is a good thing, not a bad thing. "Be wrong at the start to be right at the end," Williams writes. "Think what no one else is thinking, and do what no one else is doing." Or as Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead said, "We do not merely want to be the best of the best. We want to be the only ones who do what we do." I love it.

So what does that mean for us? Well, of course, as usual, it's about letting go. Letting go of insisting that whatever someone - or life - presents us, has to fit with what we already know - or we reject it. To cry,"That's not how we do it!" when the trouble making "disrupter" makes his off the wall pitch, won't lead us to the necessary game-changer but to the inevitable game-ender. And where's the fun in that? What if we think of our businesses and ourselves as (brace yourself) start-ups? What if we rekindle that chutzpah, that "I know what we were...I'm interested in what we could become" attitude, no matter how old our company is or... how old we are? Unthinkable? I don't think so. Remember what one of my favorite authors, Tom Robbins wrote in his infamous book, Jitterbug Perfume: "To achieve the marvelous, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought."

Late last summer, as I walked into a cocktail party, the host said, "Here comes trouble!" Just as I was thinking to myself, “See, kiddo, you still got it...," Jim, my husband, leaned over and said, "He meant me, just for the record..." So listen, next time somebody says, "Here comes trouble!" Make sure they mean you, okay?

Monday Morning Motivator-YOU AWAKE??

2013-01-14T14:36:04.994Z

YOU AWAKE??

I haven’t slept really well since the fourth grade. That’s when my teacher, Mrs. Williams, said sternly to our class, you children need to be in bed by nine. That means no television after 8:30. I guarantee you that you won’t do well in school if you don’t get enough sleep!” “Not do well in school?! That would be terrible,” I thought. Listen, I’m the one who said in her little prayers after God blessing everyone in my family including all the animals we ever had (which were a lot..) “And please help me be a good girl and do really well in school!” I’m also the one who did her homework for Monday...on Friday afternoon. (“What a loser!” my younger daughter, Abigail, said..)

So not surprisingly not getting enough sleep became an ever present fear of mine. I’d lie there in my little bed, eyes wide open, worried sick that my not sleeping would make me mess up tomorrow’s dreaded story problems or I’d name the wrong state when Mrs. Williams pointed her pointer at the map she yanked down from the ceiling. (The only one I knew cold was Florida, because it looked funny...) “Okay,” you’re probably thinking, “don’t tell me you’re still like that!” Yeah, the old fear is still there. “Doing well” - whatever that means in the adult version of “school” - is what still keeps a lot of us awake, right? It’s about 2:30 in the morning and you roll over and say to the sound asleep person next to you, “You awake??” “I am now..thanks a lot,” is a typical response. (Even Willa, our Golden Retriever who sleeps on our bed, groans...)

So what do we do? I mean, you can only take so much Tylenol PM. There has to be another way. Here’s what I do: I keep one of those “Keep Calm and Carry On” books and a pen next to the bed. Without turning on a light, I write down things (just barely legible) that usually fit into two simple categories: "Follow Up” and “ New Ideas." Here’s what I’m not allowed to write down: anything that has to do with the past, like the times I messed up (named the wrong state) old fears, or nasty regrets. It’s all about moving forward - with energy and optimism; being creative and focused on what I can influence in a positive way.. Negative “what if’s” are absolutely verboten. And once I write it down, I let it go. I don’t worry about it or brood over it... or look at it until the next day.

- “Follow up’s” is a rich category. I’m always amazed at the incredibly obvious things I think of in the middle of the night that I completely missed during a chaotic day. An encouraging phone call I could make to ensure a project is moving forward with velocity, an email to a friend I adore who’d never know it given my lack of communication... “Wow,” what if I hadn’t wakened up?” I sometimes say out loud.. (which is a mistake, given the “others” in the bed..)

- “New Ideas” is my favorite. This is where an idea for a “Monday Morning Motivator” will pop into my mind. This is also where “new patterns” emerge. I might assemble old concepts into a different framework that takes on a whole new meaning. “Maybe the ‘Motivators’ should be a book?” or “How about using my double bi-pass experience to inspire other women save their lives?” Or... well, you get the picture. The point with “New Ideas” is to let ‘er rip.

So listen, don’t get worked up about waking up. Don’t fight it; go with it.Get out your little book and your pen and write stuff down. Oh, and here’s another category: “Good Stuff.” Write down the nice things, the funny things that happen; the compliments you get “Hey, I like your hair! I mean, it’s better than it was..” No, seriously, it’s important to wrap your arms around the good things - as you tuck yourself back into bed. You’ll sleep like a baby. Oh, here’s something I remembered last night: Some of the kids in the fourth grade said Mrs.Williams “liked” Bill, the bus driver. I didn’t know what that meant at the time. Made me laugh (out loud, unfortunately..)

Monday Morning Motivator-WHAT TO BRING, WHAT TO LEAVE BEHIND…

2013-01-07T15:48:31.082Z

WHAT TO BRING, WHAT TO LEAVE BEHIND…

The question of what to bring with us into the New Year - into the future, into the next great segment of our lives - and what to leave behind is not a frivolous one. Nor are the answers necessarily obvious or even easy. We’ve just wrapped up a ten day sojourn at our old farm house in Connecticut and as I packed up to go back to NYC, I realized how much stuff I’d brought with me. I mean, I’m talking three hanger bags of clothes. “Are you kidding?” my husband, Jim, asked when we packed up the car. “You’re never going to wear all this stuff!” “Well, you never know,” I said. “Things come up.” That’s code for “I don’t want to think about it now so I’ll just bring everything.” That creates what I call “the debris of indecisions” - a kind of paralysis that comes over you when you look into a closet - or peek through the door to the future.. And as usual, it’s the piles of mental and emotional stuff; the old “habits" that do the worst damage. So here’s my shot at what you - we - might take and what we might leave behind. I call them “from/to’s” and I ask the people I work with to make their own lists each year. So you make yours, okay?

- From: Talking To: Listening.

- From: Already knowing To: Discovering.

- From: “Let me tell you..” To: “Let’s have a conversation.”

- From: “So, what do you do?” To: “What lights you up?”

- From: That’s just the way it is. To: There’s no way it is; together, we can change the outcome, maybe the world..

- From: Being right about how wrong it is To: Letting it go... and buying into a larger commitment.

- From: I can’t find the answer To: The answer will find me.

- From: I have to prove who I am as an individual To: I will demonstrate who I am as part of a team.

- From: I just don’t have the resources I need To: The resources are already there; I will discover them.

- From: The Universe has already made its mind up about me To: The Universe only knows what I show it today...

- From: How bad could it get?! To: How good could I make it? (My favorite...)

And next time you pack to go somewhere, take your life in your hands and just “decide," okay? Maybe what you leave behind says more about you than what you bring with you...

Monday Morning Motivator-FREE TO BE YOU, FREE TO BE ME...

2012-12-31T16:21:42.515Z

FREE TO BE YOU, FREE TO BE ME...

Well, this is definitely where the rubber meets the road. This is the moment - the dawn of a brand new, fresh, clean, never-before-touched, wide open year. And it’s all yours. No dye has been cast; no promises have been made - or broken. Absolutely anything’s possible. And it’s all yours for the taking, for the creating. So if it were really, really good...what would that look like? I’m not talking a year that’s "not all that bad," or one that’s “at least better than last year.” I mean one that goes down in your history book as great. I know - when you start thinking that boldly, that grandly, a funny thing happens: You hear those voices. “Nothin’that good’s going to happen. Not this year..” Or, “They’ll never let me.” Or, “Hey, I’m good but I’m not that good. I mean, get real.”

So what do we do? We let go. We let go of absolutely anything - emotional or physical - that would drag us down, hold us back, make us feel heavy or depressed or just plain inadequate. And I mean anything. And just to be consistent, I’m asking - as I do at the dawn of every year - that you throw out fifty things. More’s okay, too. (Remember what Miss Piggy says: “More is more...”) And for the record, the objective of this little exercise is not to be voted "most neat and tidy” - it’s to befree.Free to be 100% you, not some weak, watered down version.

And the really good news is that the whole process of letting go of the stuff of the past - is anything but exhausting. In fact, it’s energizing... Here are a few of my favorite New Year's "Free Yourself Up Throw Out’s:"

1. Anything - from a too tight sweater to a too-small view of yourself; from mismatched socks to a mismatched relationship. Seriously, this is the perfect time to let go of those people who remember only the bad times, not the good. You know who they are. Keep your distance...

2. The fear that if you let go of (give away, donate or sell...) the memorabilia you’ve collected over the decades - your mom’s china, your great aunt’s oriental rug - you’ll lose the memories. You won’t. The memories are in your heart, not in the stuff. Let it go. Someone else could use those things right this minute. And wouldn’t that be a good thing?

3. The stuff in the medicine cabinet, like your old makeup...from your old look. And what about old meds from your old illnesses. Why are you keeping that stuff around? Are you waiting for the “bad” thing to come back and get you? Get rid of it. You’re free of the illness now. Don’t invite it back.

4. Assuming the worst. Okay, “they” haven’t answered your email, returned your call or looked at you kind of funny. Don’t make “not knowing” into “not getting.” Assume the best from people, from yourself, from life in general. If you do, you’re much more likely to get it. Studies prove this to be true, btw.

5. Negative typecasting - yourself and others. You know: “I’m just not the type to stand up in front of people and speak" I hear that all the time from the people I work with. (But not for long...) Or, “I’m just not the type to stick to a workout routine, a diet, a budget...or my New Year’s Resolutions.” Who made that up? You did. It wasn’t written on your birth certificate, was it? No. And it’s just not true. Let it go.

6. Asking that wretched question that seems to have taken over the country: “How bad could it get?” And start asking, “How goodcould I make it?” If you can do just that one thing, you’ll have a terrific year. I’m not kidding.

Look we’ll have to wait 12 more months for another chance like this: to start over, to reinvent, todecide to be free - free of anything that diminishes us or causes us to play small. Finally and once and for all free of that self-imposed straightjacket we've put on every day.Free. To be you, to be me.

Check out my interview with Michel Martin on NPR, January 4^thhttp://www.npr.org/programs/tell-me-more/ it’s about how “letting go” can bring freedom...and peace in the New Year.

Monday Morning Motivator-STOP...AND PUT YOUR ARMS OUT

2012-12-17T15:33:27.085Z

STOP...AND PUT YOUR ARMS OUT

As President Obama said Friday, our hearts are broken. The collective heart of the country is broken. Newtown is our town. Their grief is ours. “But what can we do?” everyone is asking each other. What can we do... I can only think of one thing: We have to put our arms out - physically and metaphorically, literally and figuratively. Put our arms out and wrap them around each other, wrap therm around life. Now.

We live our lives at warp speed. A minute ago it was the Fourth of July. A minute from now it’ll be Christmas. A minute later it’ll be Memorial Day... “It’s as if the world is spinning faster.” a friend told me recently, “And the only thing we can do is hold on for dear life..” But that, it turns out, is not living. Gandhi said, “There’s more to life than simply increasing its speed.” And now, in this moment of heartbreak, all of us have stopped. And we’re actually looking at each other. Loving each other...crying together.

So again, what can we do? We can stop...for longer than a moment. We can focus not only our prayers and our hearts on the people of Newtown - but our attention - on the tiny little things that actually comprise the bits and pieces of any given, precious day - for any one of us. The things that are only a blur when we’re in constant motion - responding, reacting, recalibrating. But if you look back into your life at the moments you remember best, they’re probably small - a word, a chance encounter, something breathtakingly beautiful - a sight, a sound...a hug...that you’d have missed entirely if you hadn’t stopped to look up, or listen, or put your arms out...

I was about ten years old when I first watched the old black and white film version of Thornton Wilder’s landmark play, Our Town. To say I was moved to tears is an understatement. And Friday it all came back. You see, I think Newtown is not all that different from Wilder's Grovers Corners - or any other small town in America. And Emily, the film's main protagonist, is not all that different from any one of us. Perhaps you remember her last poignant words...

“Good-by, Good-by, world. Good-by, Grover's Corners... Mama and Papa. Good-by to clocks ticking... and Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new-ironed dresses and hot baths...and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you.”

It’s Christmas. This is a perfect time, right this minute, even in this moment of heartbreak, for us to “realize” earth, each other...life...clocks ticking, pies baking, fires crackling, eyes glowing, love spreading. Yes, it's Christmas. Stop. And put your arms out...

Monday Morning Motivator-FROSTY WINDS MAY BLOW...

2012-12-10T15:33:51.569Z

FROSTY WINDS MAY BLOW...

This time of year always makes me think of my mom. She loved Christmas and everything that went with it, especially our traditions. We never decorated our tree until Christmas Eve (and did it with great fanfare and creative abandon..) And even when my brother and I were all grown up, we never failed to listen to Loretta Young telling the story of “The Littlest Angel.” Then, on Christmas morning each of us opened up one present at a time and shouted, “Opening!” as we ripped off the paper.

When Jim and I were married and our daughters, Kate and Abigail, were born, we carried on my family’s holiday traditions - and created some of our own. One is particularly precious to me. There’s a wonderful church around the corner from our apartment that has a children’s Christmas pageant every year. Children of all ages - from 3 to thirteen - participate. Tiny, exuberant angels (Kate and Abigail were among them when they were little) run down the aisle flapping their arms, then small, fur-wrapped shepherds carry noisy, live lambs, followed by wise men (looking very serious) carrying lanterns, and as a finale, Mary arrives on a donkey, led by Joseph. All the while, the most wonderful Christmas music is sung by everyone in the standing-room-only church. My favorite is “In the Bleak Mid-Winter...frosty winds may blow..." Of course, my parents always came to NYC to join us. Not to be together on Christmas Eve would’ve been unthinkable.

But one Christmas Eve sticks stubbornly in my mind...one that reminds me that in addition to the cooking, shopping, wrapping, “opening” and singing there might be another important tradition to start: taking care of each other. Here’s why: This particular Christmas Eve was especially cold, “frosty winds” were definitely blowing and as our whole family walked to the corner of 88th Street and turned onto Fifth Avenue to head to the church, an icy blast hit my mom like a freight train. She clutched her chest and couldn’t take another step. “I’m sorry,” she kept saying, “I really am...I should’ve taken my pills..” I was thunderstruck. Why hadn’t I realized how hard it would be for her to walk against the wind? Why hadn’t we gotten the car out and driven her? What was I thinking? My mom had emphysema and shortness of breath was an ever-present challenge. But an icy blast made it almost unbearable. I shielded her from the wind as we walked back to our apartment and after she rested we drove her to church in a warm car. The pageant was as beautiful and moving as ever. But I never made that mistake again. I just wish I hadn’t made it in the first place..

So here’s my message: If somebody you love has a serious or chronic illness, take extra good care of them during the holidays. Be vigilant. Try to imagine how even one flight of stairs, one minute too long standing in line, or one blast from a “frosty wind” can completely knock them out. Make sure they’re bundled up warmly, that they rest periodically, that they take their meds no matter what - and that they know that you know...how hard it can be. And that it’s okay. The angels, shepherds, wise men and donkeys will still play their parts. You play yours: Take good care of them. And while you’re at it, take care of yourself, okay? (Watch out for those frosty winds...)